GYM & TONEIC

Bank Holiday Hike

Bear Grylls and Ray Mears Malham adventure

How many weeks ago was bank holiday… procrastinating Pete over here has been meaning to write this since then! I did write a blog about what to wear when exercising (or more like what not to wear) post hike, I felt compelled to write that! But I never got round to writing about the actual walk itself, so here goes…

The hike was going to be up Mount Snowden, but the weather was hit and miss over in Wales that weekend, so Snowden is still on my bucket list for now! My friend Nicola (Botty, the one that doesn’t drink enough water) joined me in the fresh-aired fun. Completely out of character for us both to be getting high on endorphins, as opposed to alcoholic beverages on a bank holiday, a sign we’re becoming ‘sensible adults’, that can’t hack 3 day hangovers anymore.

Much of the day before our hike was spent racking our brains and Googling best places to go, a big decider on location being our likelihood of getting lost (with us both being beyond crap at geography and map reading). It was my dad that suggested a trip to Malham, a familiar name/place but I couldn’t think why initially, then it dawned on me, we’d been there on a high school trip many moons ago…  After taking a look online at the stunning scenery, terrain and relatively simple routes (that two simpletons could navigate), we set off to cross the border, Yorkshire bound.

It took us just over an hour to get there from Ramsbottom, we found it no problems at all *high-five us*, the drive taking us through stunning Yorkshire scenery. None of which was familiar from our high school trip; clearly we were ignorant, careless teens that didn’t give a damn about the countryside way back when. We parked up, got our walking boots on and headed straight to the visitors centre to get a map and a talk over the route (to minimise all chances of calling mountain rescue). With our map in hand and route roughly sketched, we were told to follow the masses, the sun was shining down on Yorkshire and Malham was packed with plenty of visitors, and off we went on our merry way.

First stop, Janet’s Foss, a small and wonderful waterfall and pool, nestled in woodland along the footpath from Malham Village toward Gordale Scar.

First stop, we made it, no detours or deviations!
First stop, we made it, no detours or deviations!

Gordale Scar was our second landmark, a spectacular gorge with waterfalls cut into the towering limestone hillside, it’s true size and scale only fully appreciated once in the scar. We took the advice from the very nice chap that sketched our map in the visitors centre, and didn’t climb up the waterfall. He warned us of the dangers and the number of accidents that happen there year on year; we didn’t want to be the idiots making headline news that day… Although there were a few people that were climbing it, I know I keep banging on about clothing, but these people definitely weren’t dressed to climb cliffs, brave and reckless souls!

Gordale Scare
Gordale Scar
Scaling heights... braver than me!
Scaling heights… braver than me!
Crazy people climbing the waterfall - in inappropriate clothing!
Crazy people climbing the waterfall – in inappropriate clothing!

Our third and midway stop was Malham Tarn, a nature reserve area, owned by the National Trust. This was the longest section of our circular walk, the stunning scenery almost lost on us, with a near death experience… we had to cross a field full of crazy cows, that I swear were going to go for us, which Nicola found highly amusing (at first!). I hate cows and their murderous eyes, my heart was in my mouth and we were both getting ready to jump a stone wall to avoid them. Our fearful fate behind us, we had a quick rest stop at the Tarn, to take in the views of England’s highest freshwater lake, and treated ourselves to a 99 – we’d earned and burned it!

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Look at those eyes - killer!
Look at those eyes – killer!
Earned and burned!
Earned and burned!

Homebound, we headed back down towards Malham Cove, a huge curving amphitheatre shaped cliff formation of limestone rock. Which boasts impressive views down the dale towards Malham and beyond (if you can stomach getting close to the cliff edge that is!).

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That's as close to the cliff edge we dared to get...
That’s as close to the cliff edge we dared to get…

Four hours and 8.6 miles later, we made it back to Malham and headed straight to the pub! We’re Lancashire lasses, we know very well that’s how all outdoor expeditions should end… We had awesome pub grub at The Buck Inn, both of us opting for their famous Malham and Masham Pie – it was goood pie and the gravy…! With pie lining my stomach and a G&T in hand, I was happy as a pig in… mud! What a way to end of a great day.

Good job!
Good job!

If you’re seeking some fresh-aired fun, I can’t recommend Malham enough, simply stunning scenery that made trekking 8+ miles feel like a breeze. If you don’t fancy the hike, but want a trip out and bloody good pie, just go for that!

Find out more about Malham here.

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